All You Need to Know to Win Your March Madness Bracket

by Rick Valente

The NCAA basketball conference tournaments are over, which means it's time to print out those brackets! If you're like everyone else in New England, you've watched about two hours of college basketball all season and would have no clue that Notre Dame has played better than Xavier or that Cincinatti should beat Texas in the first round. But that doesn't mean that you can't win your office pool this year, because the truth is, the past means next to nothing when you mix a bunch of young kids with the pressure of a single-elimination tournament that the entire country is watching. That is why we at BTownSports have organized some strategies to help you find the hidden gems of this tournament, and to avoid placing your chips on the wrong side of a big upset. We start with the most important strategy of all:


Pick Teams With Cool Nicknames

The best part of college sports besides the blatant, shameless disregard for education is the array or ridiculous nicknames from the 350 Division I teams. Do you really want to root for one of the dozens of Wildcats or Tigers or Bulldogs? If so, I bet your favorite sandwich is mayonnaise on white bread and you never were late for curfew. You're name is probably Joe or Bob and you only dance at weddings after drinking a few Zimas and the Electric Slide is playing. Don't be like JoeBob. Put down the Zima, grab a Jack on the rocks, and take a walk on the wild side. Give the nod to the Iowa State Cyclones, Wichita State Shockers, South Dakota State Jackrabbits, St. Louis Billikens, St. Mary's Gaels. You know you want to.

So close to being cool...

Pick a 12-Seed Over 5-Seed Upset

They happen every single year, you just need to pick the right one. Wichita State is a 5-Seed, and we aren't picking against the Shockers, so that leaves us with three teams. Harvard is a 12-seed and are clearly way smarter than the remaining two other 12-seeded teams, so they are the obvious choice. Long Beach State does have uniforms that simply state "The Beach" so they do get some points for trying to be cool and failing. The choice is yours.

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Threes, Seniors, and Free Throws

If you can't decide who to pick by their mascot, severity of scandals, or religious affiliation (ahem...BYU), then these three factors are good indicators of what team goes into a game with the advantage. If you get hot from beyond the arc, almost any deficit can be erased, and almost any lead can be stretched to a blowout. Seniors have already gone through the near-death experience and/or trip to the ER everyone goes through at college and are far less likely to wet their pants under the pressure. A freshman can barely shotgun a beer, I don't want him taking the winning shot of a meaningful basketball game. Finally, free throws are always the difference in a close game, so if you can hit them in crunch time, you are far better off than the other team who look like they've been taking charity-stripe classes from Shaq.

Pick a Top Seeded Team to Win it All

This advice is lame, I admit it. But four of the last five champions have been one seeds, and this field is as top-heavy as Sofia Vergara. The best way to go here is to avoid the team that absolutely everybody is picking, which is Kentucky this year. If you pick Syracuse, North Carolina, or Michigan State, you'll be ahead of half of the field when Kentucky crumbles.

and finally...


Don't Pick Duke

Nobody likes Duke except for Duke. Even if you pick them and they win, everyone will hate you for picking Duke, and you will die all alone. Do you want to die all alone? I didn't think so. Stay away from Duke.

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